Occasionally, people arrive in the ED who have committed, or been victims of, crime (and on occasion have confessed to murder - but that's another story). (yes, for those Agatha Christie fans, it was cyanide!! As punishment, he spent the next few hours dressed in a chemical protection suit!) The partially filled bottle was handed over. My esteemed colleague opened the bottle, inhaled deeply and stated 'does anyone think that this smells like almonds?' However, that 'intellect' seemed to desert one of our number when a patient arrived in the department after having collapsed shortly after drinking from a cola bottle. We like to think that we are moderately intelligent in the ED.

Gluing colleague's shoes to the floor (that was funny!).

The raising of the 'dead' (obviously a colleague) - done that!.

Wrapping colleague's cars in cling food wrap - done that.

Sandwiches sellotaped to the ceiling - done that.

You may think that you can play pranks on one another I'm fairly sure that we are better. One such person also clearly didn't want to get cold and/or wet and so drove their car through the automatic doors into the department!Įmergency Department staff like to joke.

Some people don't like to walk some people don't like to walk so much that they want to park the car as close as they possibly can to the ED. He had placed it there to 'impress the girls'. The patient had a large, false, member pushed into his pants. Sometimes 'it was there' sometimes 'it wasn't!' A colleague was suspicious, she tapped it, a suspiciously solid noise was heard. We were worried this was not a good thing. There was a large 'bulge' in his undergarments. One patient arrived with a history suggestive of such an injury. Look it up! This is a persistent erection of the male organ. We have also had people attempting to insert small rodent-like creatures into various bodily oriffii (not sure if that's a word but I think you get my gist!) Dan (I have spoken of him previously) fainted! As I bent down to peer at the offending object, the offending object reared up to look back at me (it was a very large worm!) I vomited, Dr. Expecting a minor lump or spot, I asked her to lower her trousers. She had, she told me, something in her bottom. One memorable day, a young lady arrived in the department weeping bitterly.

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